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A cat died and went to heaven. St. Peter met the cat at the gate and said, “Welcome. Is there anything you didn’t have on Earth that I can get for you, here in Heaven?”.The cat thought for a moment and said, “Yes, I always had to sleep on a hard floor, could I get a warm… Continue reading
Following a distinguished legal career, a man arrived at the Gates of Heaven, accompanied by the Pope, who had the misfortune to expire on the same day. The Pope was greeted first by St. Peter, who escorted him to his quarters. The room was somewhat shabby and small, similar to that found in a… Continue reading
A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by the definition of voluntary manslaughter given the panel: “An intentional killing that occurs while the defendant is under the immediate influence of sudden passion arising from an adequate cause, such as when a spouse’s… Continue reading
What is the difference between a lawyer and a hooker?
The hooker will stop screwing you after you die. Continue reading
A judge, bored and frustrated by a lawyer’s tedious arguments, had made numerous rulings to speed the trial along. The attorney had bristled at the judge’s orders, and their tempers grew hot. Finally, frustrated with another repetition of arguments he had heard many times before, the… Continue reading
> > > A small town prosecuting attorney called his first > > > witness to the stand in > > > a trial – a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He > > > approached her and asked, “Ms. > > > Jones, do you know me? > > > “She… Continue reading
A pick pocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes. The judge said “Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100.” The lawyer stood up and said “Thanks, my lord, however my client only has $75 on him at this time, but if you’d allow him a few minutes in the crowd. . .” Continue reading
A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer’s club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their lives. The gang was very happy to escape. “It ain’t so bad,” one crook noted. “We got out with $25 between us.” “I warned you to stay clear of… Continue reading
Two lawyers were in a coffee shop talking. One of the lawyers names was Thomas Strange. After a while their conversation became rather morbid, and they started to started to talk about what they were going to have on their tomb stones. Thomas said the he wasn’t going to have his name put… Continue reading
Why does New Jersey have more landfills, and California have more lawyers?
New Jersey had first pick. Continue reading
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